by Tammie McKay
arenting is often a learn-as-you-go process, especially for new parents. As a parent, teaching your son respect has to be a continual, lifelong process, as it is one of the most important lessons he can learn. Respect is earned, and should never be implied, which is probably the most difficult aspect for a young boy to grasp.arenting is one of life’s quintessential conundrums. It can be rewarding on many levels, but just as quickly becomes one of the greatest frustrations. Nurturing our children
Help him respect his others such as his elders, women, those who hold positions of authority, and even his friends; it requires daily mentoring.
Teach your son that it is right to hold doors and allow others to precede him when entering or leaving a building. Instruct him that saying ‘yes sir’ or ‘yes ma’am’ is a sign of respect. Do not allow him to answer adults with words such as ‘yeah’ or ‘uh huh’, but rather help him realize the use of proper English will garner more respect in the long run.
In addition, teaching boys that they must give respect to get respect is often times met with resistance, particularly in instances where respect is not reciprocated. This frequently manifests itself in scholastic environments, such as when your son encounters a teacher with whom they have a personality conflict.
Even if your son is completely in the right, and he is being subjected to unfair treatment by a teacher, it is still imperative that he show respect to the person and deference to the position.
Teach him to acknowledge what the teacher is saying and to answer respectfully, not to “back talk” or cause further conflict. If he feels he was unfairly treated, he may discuss it with you or request to speak with a school counselor. We need to teach them self-discipline and how to control themselves when faced with conflict, even if they are feeling rage or anger.
We live in a world of rules and consequences, and we must help immerse our sons in this reality. If you are constantly late for school, skip school or leave early, for example, you will face disciplinary actions as set forth by the school rules.
Having your son learn to commit to the rules you enforce in your home or suffer the consequences is a great way to start him on his own path while outside the home.
When he realizes that for every negative action comes a negative response, he will strive to achieve positive responses through positive actions. There will be times when he slips up and gets into trouble; however by simply discussing the situation with him and talking through the action/consequence, you can steer him back onto the right track.
What history shows
For many years, society has portrayed men to be emotionless and to conceal their feelings, but this can be harmful to quality relationships. Many boys grow up ashamed of their emotions, making them unable to communicate well and possibly lash out toward others.
Get him to open up and know that it is important to express what he is feeling or thinking. We must teach our sons the importance of kindness, compassion, empathy and love for family, friends and the environment. These feelings will help him become a responsible and strong man that has the social skills to help others and prevent him from doing hurtful things to himself or others.
Many will use the expression “boys will be boys” to explain away their behavior. After hearing this over and over, they start to believe it implies that boys are troublemakers and it’s acceptable because of their gender. Parents must sent forth the example by treating others in their son’s life with respect. Insist that he do the same, even outside your presences. Teach him that there is a reasonable way to handle a situation without being a troublemaker. One very important lesson to instill in him would be “just because your friends are doing it, it doesn’t mean that it is acceptable.” Have him stop and think, “what would my parents think about me doing this?” If he comes to the conclusion, “not very well,” then he should probably step away from the situation.