by Tiffany Darden

Raising a resilient child means equipping them with the tools to navigate life’s inevitable challenges without becoming overwhelmed. Resilience isn’t just about bouncing back—it’s about adapting, problem-solving and developing emotional strength. In this conversation with Injury Board’s Member Success Manager, Tiffany Darden, and Families United: New Beginnings owner Miki Hazzard—a seasoned marriage and family therapist with over 15 years of experience teaching court-ordered parenting, anger management and domestic violence classes in the Los Angeles area—we explore what resilience looks like in children and how parents can nurture it.

What Does It Mean for a Child to Be Resilient?
A resilient child adapts easily to new environments and isn’t easily shaken by things beyond their control. They don’t take it personally when someone is unkind or when life doesn’t go their way. Instead, they develop a strong sense of self and confidence in their abilities.

Some kids are naturally more resilient—they may be grittier, more outspoken or more willing to take risks. But resilience isn’t just an innate trait; it’s a skill that can be taught. With consistent support and encouragement, children can learn to face challenges head-on rather than avoid them.

Building a Strong Emotional Foundation
Parental support plays a crucial role in developing a child’s resilience. The way parents interact with their children in their earliest years directly shapes their sense of identity, confidence and ability to handle challenges. A child’s belief in themselves—what they can and can’t do, what they fear—begins with the support (or lack thereof) they receive at home.

Creating a home environment that fosters emotional strength means providing children with a space where they feel comfortable expressing themselves without fear of judgment. It’s about embracing each child’s unique personality rather than comparing them to siblings or peers. A child who feels safe and supported at home will be more willing to take risks and challenge themselves in the outside world.

How Positive Reinforcement Builds Resilience
Positive reinforcement isn’t just about praise—it’s about helping children associate effort and success with positive emotions. When parents acknowledge a child’s effort, whether it’s making their bed or completing homework, it reinforces their confidence and motivation.

Children naturally seek validation from their parents, and when they receive it consistently, they’re more likely to persevere, even when faced with challenges. A parent’s reaction to their child’s small victories helps shape how they approach bigger challenges later in life.

Handling Failure and Disappointment
Failure and rejection are a part of life, but how a parent helps their child process them can make all the difference. The key is empathy—not dismissing their feelings, but truly listening to understand what’s bothering them.

Sometimes, a child’s distress isn’t just about failing a test; it could stem from feeling unpopular or struggling socially. Instead of assuming, parents should ask, “What can I do to help?” If the child responds with “nothing,” but the issue persists, it may be time to dig a little deeper.

A crucial part of resilience is knowing when to step in and when to step back. In the first five years, parents should give their child small tasks they can successfully complete, helping to build confidence. As they grow, parents should allow them to struggle a little—offering guidance but not always stepping in to rescue them.

Fostering Independence Without Overprotecting
There’s a fine line between being a supportive parent and a helicopter parent. Overprotective parenting can hinder resilience by making a child feel incapable of solving problems on their own.

A child who is constantly shielded from struggles doesn’t develop the autonomy needed to navigate challenges. Instead, parents should foster independence by encouraging kids to try new things, make mistakes and learn from them.

Practical ways to build confidence include:

  • Giving children small projects they can complete successfully.
  • Listening and respecting what’s important to them.
  • Providing validation and praise, no matter how small the achievement.

A simple “Good job, I love the way you did that” can go a long way in boosting a child’s self-esteem.

Recognizing When a Child Needs Help
Not all struggles are a normal part of childhood development. Sometimes, behavioral changes can signal deeper emotional challenges that require attention.

Signs that a child may need professional support include:

  • Withdrawing from activities they once enjoyed.
  • Frequent mood swings, irritability or increased isolation.
  • Noticeable changes in communication or behavior.

If a parent observes these signs, it’s important to check in regularly and seek professional guidance if needed.

Helping Children Through Trauma and Adversity
Life events such as divorce, bullying or the loss of a loved one can deeply impact a child’s emotional well-being. How parents handle these situations plays a major role in how their child processes trauma.

The key is age-appropriate communication. Parents should protect children from adult-level worries and avoid sharing their own emotional struggles in front of them. Instead, they should check in regularly and create a safe space for their child to express their feelings. If needed, seeking professional counseling can provide additional support.

Final Thoughts
Raising a resilient child isn’t about removing obstacles—it’s about teaching them to navigate challenges with confidence. Through consistent support, positive reinforcement and opportunities to take on challenges, parents can help their children develop the emotional strength needed to handle life’s ups and downs. By fostering independence, teaching problem-solving skills and providing a strong emotional foundation, parents can set their children up for long-term success—ensuring they not only bounce back from difficulties but thrive in the face of them.