by Tiffany Darden

Healthy communication is the foundation of strong family relationships. When families communicate effectively, they create an environment where everyone feels heard, respected and valued. In contrast, poor communication can lead to misunderstandings, emotional distance and ongoing conflict. In this conversation with Injury Board’s Member Success Manager, Tiffany Darden, and Families United: New Beginnings owner Miki Hazzard—a seasoned marriage and family therapist with over 15 years of experience teaching court-ordered parenting, anger management and domestic violence classes in the Los Angeles area—we explore how families can develop healthier communication habits and resolve conflicts constructively.

Common Sources of Conflict in Families
One of the biggest sources of family conflict is differences in disciplining children. Parents often have varying parenting styles shaped by their upbringing and culture. In blended families, this challenge can be even greater, as each parent brings different expectations about discipline and communication.

Some parents rely more on verbal communication, while others use nonverbal cues, which can lead to misunderstandings. A family’s communication style plays a significant role in how conflicts arise and are managed.

How Unresolved Conflict Impacts Relationships
When conflicts go unresolved over time, family members can grow distant. Instead of staying emotionally connected and communicating openly, they may begin to withdraw.

This can create a dynamic where family members retreat into their own worlds, avoiding meaningful conversations and emotional interactions. As communication decreases, misunderstandings build up, making it even harder to reconnect.

Early Warning Signs That Conflict Might Escalate
A key warning sign in parent-child relationships is withdrawal. A child may begin isolating themselves, spending excessive time on social media or electronics instead of engaging with family members.

When family members stop communicating or avoid spending time together, it’s often a sign that deeper issues need to be addressed before they escalate.

Effective Communication Strategies
One of the most effective tools for healthy family communication is holding regular family meetings. A weekly check-in where each family member has the opportunity to express themselves can help prevent small issues from turning into major conflicts.

Throughout the week, family members can jot down concerns they don’t feel comfortable addressing at the moment and bring them up during the meeting. This ensures that everyone feels heard and that problems are discussed early rather than building up over time.

The Importance of Active Listening
Active listening means fully engaging with what the other person is saying, rather than simply waiting for your turn to respond.

It involves repeating back or summarizing their words to confirm understanding. This fosters deeper connections, as people feel genuinely heard and validated in their emotions and concerns.

Managing Emotions During Conflict
A key aspect of healthy communication is emotional intelligence—the ability to recognize, manage and regulate emotions based on the situation.

Noticing physical signs of frustration, such as a racing heartbeat or tense muscles, can help individuals pause and adjust their response before reacting in a way that might escalate the conflict.

Recognizing and Controlling Triggers
Everyone has emotional triggers, but learning to recognize and manage them is essential.

This involves becoming aware of the words, tones or situations that provoke an emotional reaction. Instead of reacting immediately, individuals can take a moment to breathe, reframe their thoughts and choose a response that helps de-escalate the situation.

Breaking Negative Communication Patterns
Shifting from defensive or aggressive communication to a more constructive approach starts with recognition. A person must acknowledge when their communication style is causing issues and take responsibility for making changes.

Using “I” statements instead of placing blame (e.g., “I feel unheard” rather than “You never listen”) fosters a more open and less confrontational dialogue.

Rebuilding Trust After Conflict
Apologizing and acknowledging the other person’s feelings are crucial for rebuilding trust.

When someone feels unheard or dismissed, they may be less willing to repair the relationship. Expressing genuine understanding and taking proactive steps to address the issue help foster a more trusting and supportive family dynamic.

Handling Disagreements as Parents
Parents should avoid openly disagreeing in front of their children. If one parent is disciplining or setting a rule, the other should support their stance at the moment.

If they strongly disagree, they should discuss it privately rather than contradict each other in front of the child. When children see their parents divided, they may take advantage of the situation by favoring the more lenient parent.

When to Seek Professional Help
Families should consider counseling when they’ve tried to resolve issues on their own but continue to struggle.

Before conflicts escalate further, seeking guidance from a neutral third party can provide valuable perspective and help improve communication and understanding.

Convincing a Reluctant Family Member to Attend Counseling
One approach is to use “I” statements to express a personal desire for improvement. Instead of saying, “You need therapy,” a parent could say, “I want to learn how to communicate better with you, and I’d love for you to come with me.”

This shifts the focus away from blame and frames it as a mutual journey toward better communication and connection.